Con Mucho Gusto

I am a person of strong convictions and deep passions, and when it comes to my family and friends I am a pushover.  There is a part of me deep down that wants to be thought of as helpful and generous and so I strive to be as much help as I can.  The danger in this lay in the fact that it can often lead to burnout.  A person can only do so much or help so many and it is imperative to know when to say, "no."  In the past I have been very bad at this, but with age I have learned the wisdom of declining a demand.  When it is something relatively easy for me, I am usually open, but when the demands begin to take crucial time away from my own responsibilities, it's time to take a step back.  How many of you out there have a desire to help everyone niggling at you every day?  And how many of you have burned out because you could not turn down a friend?  While I am a person who wants to serve, I am also and individual in need of service.  If I, or any of you like me, allow myself to burn out, I can't help anyone if I am unable even to help myself.

A Word About Hate

I wanted to write a word about hate this morning, but as it turns out, I have many words to share.  As a post I read this morning read, "Hate is taught..."  No truer words spoken!  As I have raised my children I watched them adapt behaviors I have modeled for them.  When my twins were young I would get frustrated and spank them.  I would later hear from a teacher that my child has been exhibiting aggressive behavior in school.  I knew that it was my influence that caused this because once I cut it out, so did they.  The same applies for racism, homophobia and misogyny taught to kids and/or modeled by parents or other influential people in a child's life.  They are the sum of us and if we want that sum to be violence and hatred, it will be.  We can decide and pass on what is right.  We can live what is right in our daily lives.  If we, "become the change we want to see in the world", it will not only make a difference for us and those we love, but it will have far reaching implications for our world.  If we want truth, love and acceptance in our lives and our world, we must do first by example.

Poo: The Great Equalizer

As the mother of twins I understood that I would see more than my share of poo. I got my first "whiff"....wink, wink, when my daughter came home from the hospital. At 4lbs 7oz, her poo smelled badly that we could not dispose of her diapers anywhere in the house. Then there were the several times when Noel and her brother escaped from their pull-ups and created, ahem...art all over their walls, bed, floor and selves. No matter who you think you are, cleaning poo will make you someone else. Mariah Carey is a gorgeous glamorous singing star, but the first time her babies pooed and she cleaned it up, she was just another sad ass poo infused mom. I admit that potty-training two kiddos at once simply blew my mind! And I had to show both my boy and girl how to go potty. How the hell was I supposed to do this!? Even a dear friend of mine, a college president, potty trained his daughters and passed some of his expertise, but make no mistake, at one time he could be found promising a kid a cookie to poo.  The thing about poo is the humility; yours at having to clean it and protecting the child's self-esteem. Yes it's nasty and yes it sucks to have to clean it, but the child doesn't know better. I have even seen this happen to adults caring for ailing parents.  Humility means to bring down to earth, so perhaps the poo experience is designed to keep us all grounded; to bring us back to our roots. Well when my autistic son releases one of his catastrophic punamis in his room and I have to clean it, at the very least it's character building.

Zombie Resistance

Okay, my husband has introduced me to zombie games, tried to get me to read zombie books and watch zombie movies.  I resisted for a very long time and then I watched a marathon of "The Walking Dead" and that was that.  I have never been one for hysterics but that show scares the doo doo out of me!  I start thinking about things like what my zombie killing weapons will be, or how we will scavenge for food and shelter!  I know, I am nuts, but so is my husband and my friend Bryan and about a million other people.  I was told that gun sales went up after Obama was elected because, one: people were afraid that he would do something angry and black to the country and, two: to prepare for the zombie apocalypse.  There are blogs, newsletters and underground survival groups!  There is even a special zombie killing bullet....I'm not even kidding!  So what has caused this zombie obsession?  Well, I have a theory....September 11the brought an attack on our country the likes of which we had never seen.  It put us on edge; in survival mode and then things settled down.  So how do you top this?  A virus that is airborne and turns people into zombies who only want to eat your flesh.  Good right!?  Oh yeah and the perfect zombie survival house is for sale!  For a mere $1.75 million bucks, you could survive the zombie apocalypse in style http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-perfect-house-for-surviving-a-zombie-apocalyps

Yah, well all I can tell you is that though we have not stockpiled food and water or sought zombie proof shelter, but we have discussed what weapons we would prefer to kill zombies with.  That's right...and I want a machete....shut up!

If You're Happy and You Know It......

I used to love the "Happy and You Know It" song as a child.  I always clapped my hands.  But now that I am in my 40's, it isn't that simple is it?  Am I happy?  Absolutely I am!  I have an amazing husband, I have a job, two beautiful children, a dog and cat, a home and loads of friends, who wouldn't be happy?  Well, just as Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs http://psychology.about.com/od/theoriesofpersonality/a/hierarchyneeds.htm predicts, what necessitates our contentment gets more and more complex as we acquire each level.  I and many of my friends are at the top level-self-fulfillment-and we crave more....more success, stature, admiration, self-acceptance, love...just more.  As one in peri-menapause I can tell you that there are even times when I don't know what I want.  There are times when I am just generally meloncholy.  I am very grateful for what I have, but would the more I crave guarantee happiness?  I'm afraid not.  This is what it is to be human.  We experience joy, anger, love, ecstasy, frustration, grief, sorrow, wonder....and not all in that order.  Are you Happy?  Do you know it?  What is the sound of one hand clapping?

A Little Romance?

Please check out the newest novel from Romance Novelist and friend, Drea Becraft.   http://dreabecraft.com/2012/03/17/out-today-sold-at-first-bite/http://dreabecraft.com/2012/03/17/out-today-sold-at-first-bite/

Pigeon or Statue

Some days you are the pigeon and some days you are the statue. Yesterday I was definitely the statute. Let's just say that today I don't intend to be shit on.

Okay, all I'm saying is, WTF!

And Then Some.....

As I left the house this morning with a million things on my mind, the idea for this post came to me. I, and most of you, keep so much information in our heads that it's mindboggling. We keep kids school activities, family doctor appointments, work schedules, birthdays, etc. properly remembered and sorted. Between work, family, school, marriage, finances...need I go on...we are just overwhelmed. Though many husbands and significant others, including my own, do help, it still seems that the bulk of it falls upon the caregiver's (our) shoulders. So, when I am cranky for no reason, or short, or tired, or just uncommunicative it's probably NOT about you.

However during these emotionally mercurial times, we don't care about the Broncos trade or the latest tool or knife you ordered, or even the highest score on your video game at this very moment. While, it can sometimes be hard to say what it is we DO want, mainly because in many cases PMS is thrown in muddling our instincts, here's what I suspect: What we want involves some sort of undisturbed quiet (no kids, dogs, cats, or YOU) for just a bit. What we seem to need is permission to be upset, emotional or snappy, in a non-judgemental setting. Finally, at least in my case, affection is always welcome. Hugs, kisses and massages (non-sexual unless I request it), are a plus. And dinner, prepared by anyone but me, but one of my favorites can usually seal the deal.

Just remember that we are allowed after childbirth (that's right I played that card), raising children and in some cases many of you, work, daily stress and a menstral cycle accompanied by cramps, bleeding, backaches, PMS, PMDD, and homicidal musings, entitle us to be a bitch (if only briefly) and then some.